Seven Things: Fighting Fair

Disclaimer: For the purposes of fun, and so no one out there think I am picking on them or their fight (because I am not) we will imagine that Fluffy and Fido are fighting about whether or not unicorns. I have no official stance on unicorns.
1. Don't call names. We all joke about using I statements and the like (or is that just my friends), but if you call someone names, instead of discussing the issue you have taken it to a new level and bad things will happen.
So, if Fluffy calls Fido a big, stupid, fizzy idiot, it does not help the discussion. Even if (especially if he does it in the middle of a brilliant point.)
2. Just because someone else started name-calling does not make it okay for you to do it too.
So now that Fluffy called Fido a fizzy idiot, it is not okay for her to call Fluffy a stupid dumbhead.
3. Telling someone they must lead a sad life or not get enough sex or [insert unnecessary judgement about their life here] is really the same as name calling.
So, it is not a good idea for Fluffy to respond by saying, "Wow, I'm sorry you are such a lonely person that worrying about unicorns is such a big deal to you." It adds nothing to the discussion.
4. Things that seem funny in your head, or even when you're sitting on a couch with a friend, often do not come across as funny when done in public, be that in person or on the internet. Read carefully.
So, if Fluffy and Fido always call each other idiot and dumbhead but Sparkles overhears and gets upset that they are being mean, things also might escalate unnecessarily.
5. Telling people to calm down rarely works. More often it is seen as patronizing - you telling them that they are taking it too seriously.
So if Fido says, "Geeze, Sparkles, unicorns aren't that big a deal anyway," - again that helps nothing. Most likely it just ticks Sparkles off more.
6. Don't answer or respond just to respond. That almost always lead to saying things you haven't thought through well. (I know, that one's really hard.)
So, if Sparkles says, "Yes they are!" That's not useful. If Sparkles doesn't have anything new to say, it - hard as it is - is better to say nothing.
7. And sometimes, no matter how well you explain your position, people will still disagree with you. It's weird and shocking and strange, yet true. Continuing to explain the same thing with the same exact words, will not change their mind.
So, Fido might have all sorts of evidence gathered and Sparkles might still not believe Fido. Sometimes that's just the way it goes. Trying to change that makes Fido and Sparkles unhappy, and really the longer the discussion goes on, the less likely it is that either Sparkles or Fido will change their mind.

Things People Should Know: Websites

Here's the thing I don't get. If you have a business and you're out there spreading the word, trying to develop a customer base, why have a crappy website. It's almost better to have no website. At the very least have the basics - who, what, where and how to contact you. I had this conversation back in the day with one boss - she had me put our website on business cards prior to a national convention. Here's the thing. I left the company six months later, the website still wasn't up. If you drive people to you and they don't see anything, the chances they will keep obsessively checking are slim. It is very rare that you will do something that no one else on earth does. If you've got me - keep me. Or at least make it worth me bookmarking you.

Ha!

Fair warning: This entry will talk about sex. Why am I telling you this time? Not sure.

So, some scientists wanted to see what orgasm looks like - from a neurological perspective, of course. So, they stuck folks inside PET scanners and watched the results. So the sensory bits (yes, that's a technical term) - the parts that register touch, light up. The other parts of the brain - thee parts that register tension, stress, judgement, decision making, inhibition, fear and anxiety all stop. This happens to a far greater extent in females as compared to males. So, women turn off their emotions during sex.

Big Whine

Mostly, everything I want to say, has been said. But really, who whines about the hardship of winning a Nobel Prize?

Best Non-Spam Email Title? You Decide.

I am on the email list for Military.com. I got this email title in my inbox the other day: Soldiers Say Porn Ban May Hurt Morale.
Hee. The full story is here. I don't really have a horse in this race, as they say, but some thoughts.
First, there is a guy who says he really likes the articles.
I remain unconvinced that looking at naked people makes those who were previously unlikely to do so, more likely to commit sexual assault.
I think while catchy, the title is misleading, since there are fears it would affect a spectrum of magazines aimed at men, including ones that while racy, are generally agreed to not be porn.
I am interested to note that there is no discussion of how this might affect women, nor is there any discussion of how this might affect sales of magazines aimed at women. Perhaps the bases do not currently sell these. (There are women quoted, but they are quoted as to their feelings about men not being able to buy the magazines, although admittedly were they buying the magazines, one imagines they would not be able to tell.)